About CFM

Civilian Fuck Monkey follows me (Jimmy Merle) and Kevin on our mission to save the motherfucking planet.  It’s also about making  me some cash-ola so I don’t have to sleep on Kevin’s fucking couch anymore.  He’s being a total ass hat about me getting my own place.

Until recently I actually had my own place.  Well, not mine exactly.  It was my Mom’s house.  Her basement to be exact.  But circumstances forced me to move out (flee) rather abruptly.  What happened was, Mom went off her meds and—

Well, you can watch what happens in Season One of our show.    

Join The CFM Nation!    

As a member you’ll get exclusive access to bonus videos and other cool shit.   Hell, I may even invite you out for gin and tonics.

As a member you’ll also be kept up to date on episode and video releases, special events, and other goo.  My advice?  Get your ass on our membership roster so you don’t miss anything!

Just by joining The CFM Nation you’ll sleep like a baby gorilla knowing you’re doing your part to save the planet.  Nice!

So, join now!  After all, what could go wrong?

Jimmy Merle

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Executive Team

Jimmy Merle
Founder, CEO, Thought Leader

Kevin
Membership Coordinator

FAQs

What is Civilian Fuck Monkey?
It’s a show about me and Kevin starting a blog to save the planet.

So, it’s a show about a blog?
No. Well, yes. I mean—you’re confusing me. Next question.

Okay, so what’s it about?
It’s about starting a movement, building a coalition, saving the planet.

Yes, but what’s the subject? The topic?
What’s it about? What’s the topic? You’re starting to sound like Kevin. Look, we’re talking about building a tribe! Making a difference! Saving the goddammotherfucking planet! Transcendent concepts like this can’t be boxed in with mundane, pedantic things like “subjects” or being “about” something.

What does Civilian Fuck Monkey even mean?
I wasn’t really going for a concrete meaning, per se. More of a feeling. A vibe. Something with wide appeal that will bring the people of the planet together in love and healing, and create a sense of a community with a transcendent purpose.

But isn’t it kind of a stupid name?
It’s a fucking GREAT name! Everyone loves monkeys.

For your mascot you have a gorilla—a highly evolved, intelligent, noble, strong, lovable creature. Yet, in your blog name you have the word ‘monkey,’ and everyone knows monkeys are unevolved, stupid, stinky, morons of low intelligence who spend all day masturbating and slinging feces at each other.
Is there a question in there? Is this Kevin? This sounds like Kevin.

Did you make the blog name stupid on purpose, or was it accidental?
Dammit, this IS Kevin. Fuck you. No more goddamn questions.

Can I ask one more question?
No.

Please?
No. Fuck off.

Pretty please? Just ONE more? It’s really important.
(Sigh) Okay. What?

Why are you such a twat-waffle?
Go fuck yourself, Kevin!!!

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