About CFM Nation

Greetings Future CFM Nation Member!

Civilian Fuck Monkey follows me (Jimmy Merle) and Kevin as we launch a blog whose sole mission is saving the motherfucking planet. And making fat stacks of cash so I don’t have to sleep on Kevin’s fucking couch anymore. He’s being a total ass hat about me getting my own place.

Until recently I actually had my own place. Well, not mine exactly. It was my Mom’s house. Her basement to be exact. But circumstances forced me to move out (flee) rather abruptly. What happened was, Mom went off her meds and—

Well, you can read about it in Season One of the blog.

Coming soon! We will soon be opening up membership to the CFM Nation. As a member you’ll get exclusive access to bonus content and Kevin’s private stash of weed. Hell, I may even invite you out for gin and tonics. Who knows, but it’s gonna be fucking EPIC!

In the meantime, you’ll want to stay tuned for announcements, including early-bird deals on CFM Nation membership and other righteous shit. My advice? Get your ass on our mailing list so you don’t miss anything!

Talk soon,
Jimmy Merle

Get Your Ass On Our Mailing List!

Executive Team

Jimmy Merle
Founder, CEO, Thought Leader

Membership Coordinator


What is Civilian Fuck Monkey?
It’s a blog about me and Kevin starting a blog to save the planet.

So, it’s a blog about a blog?
No. Well, yes. I mean—you’re confusing me. Next question.

Okay, so what’s it about?
It’s about starting a movement, building a coalition, saving the planet.

Yes, but what’s the subject? The topic?
What’s it about? What’s the topic? You’re starting to sound like Kevin. Look, we’re talking about building a tribe! Making a difference! Saving the goddammotherfucking planet! Transcendent concepts like this can’t be boxed in with mundane, pedantic things like “subjects” or being “about” something.

What does Civilian Fuck Monkey even mean?
I wasn’t really going for a concrete meaning, per se. More of a feeling. A vibe. Something with wide appeal that will bring the people of the planet together in love and healing, and create a sense of a community with a transcendent purpose.

But isn’t it kind of a stupid name?
It’s a fucking GREAT name! Everyone loves monkeys.

For your mascot you have a gorilla—a highly evolved, intelligent, noble, strong, lovable creature. Yet, in your blog name you have the word ‘monkey,’ and everyone knows monkeys are unevolved, stupid, stinky, morons of low intelligence who spend all day masturbating and slinging feces at each other.
Is there a question in there? Is this Kevin? This sounds like Kevin.

Did you make the blog name stupid on purpose, or was it accidental?
Dammit, this IS Kevin. Fuck you. No more goddamn questions.

Can I ask one more question?

No. Fuck off.

Pretty please? Just ONE more? It’s really important.
(Sigh) Okay. What?

Why are you such a twat-waffle?
Go fuck yourself, Kevin!!!

Get Your Ass On Our Mailing List!