What is Civilian Fuck Monkey?
It’s a blog about me and Kevin starting a blog to save the planet.
So, it’s a blog about a blog?
No. Well, yes. I mean—you’re confusing me. Next question.
Okay, so what’s it about?
It’s about starting a movement, building a coalition, saving the planet.
Yes, but what’s the subject? The topic?
What’s it about? What’s the topic? You’re starting to sound like Kevin. Look, we’re talking about building a tribe! Making a difference! Saving the goddammotherfucking planet! Transcendent concepts like this can’t be boxed in with mundane, pedantic things like “subjects” or being “about” something.
What does Civilian Fuck Monkey even mean?
I wasn’t really going for a concrete meaning, per se. More of a feeling. A vibe. Something with wide appeal that will bring the people of the planet together in love and healing, and create a sense of a community with a transcendent purpose.
But isn’t it kind of a stupid name?
It’s a fucking GREAT name! Everyone loves monkeys.
For your mascot you have a gorilla—a highly evolved, intelligent, noble, strong, lovable creature. Yet, in your blog name you have the word ‘monkey,’ and everyone knows monkeys are unevolved, stupid, stinky, morons of low intelligence who spend all day masturbating and slinging feces at each other.
Is there a question in there? Is this Kevin? This sounds like Kevin.
Did you make the blog name stupid on purpose, or was it accidental?
Dammit, this IS Kevin. Fuck you. No more goddamn questions.
Can I ask one more question?
No. Fuck off.
Pretty please? Just ONE more? It’s really important.
(Sigh) Okay. What?
Why are you such a twat-waffle?
Go fuck yourself, Kevin!!!